Online Self-Accountability

For those who know me, all these years I have been battling and tried many tool to block myself against online pornography. The best software in my opinion is still Netnanny. And if you have been with me, you also know that one of the main reasons I refuse to get a smart phone is also because of this struggles in me. However, June this year I bought a new smart phone at last. Can’t remember the exact reason. And I purposely use UMobile lowest plan RM18 or RM28 so that lesser data plan means I sort of can prevent or minimize the possibility for myself to fall into it. I think it does help in certain extend.

Then about a month plus ago, I feel the need to buy a computer desktop. I think the last time I bought a computer desktop is about 10 years ago? The main reason is to prepare myself for new job in software development line as just tender my resignation. Since my software development skill in more on web application, I needed much training resources like from youtube to update myself with latest .NET technology and brush up my technical skill. Thus, I have to get more heavy-usage data plan. And I also didn’t install Netnanny or activate Family Safety. I think reason being is installing this type of software sometimes can be very time-consuming and hassle just to make sure the configuration is ‘balance’ (block what should, unblock what shouldn’t). So since then, I fell more often into this struggles.


So, I come out with 2015 New Year Resolutions / Goals, this is one area that I wish to have victory. And this is my plan. This is quite a new plan. I will still remain do not relying on software. What I plan to do is I will create an online self-accountability log in this public website. So you and all my readers are indirectly keeping me accountable. I do not have if this is feasible or the best way but I will just give it a shot.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” – Hebrews 12: 1

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Christmas: Happiness vs Joy

I like a point which was discussed about happiness vs joy during tonight’s Christmas gathering. After pondering back several answers feedback by some, here are my thoughts:

I know the two words are created by men but you can use different words like joy vs true/pure joy. Regardless of what choice of words you can come out with, these two words are just used here to differentiate these two similar emotions in a deeper level of perspectives.

These are few verses from the bible can provide the meaning of these two similar emotions pretty accurately:

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal – 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

So what are some examples of something you can see. You can use this keywords like external, physical, material things. Examples, car, house, money, promotion, status, title, qualifications, career and etc.

What about the unseen things? Examples, you found the meaning and purpose of life, you found your goal or dreams what you want to do, be or achieve, you found your spiritual faith/belief, you gain new friendship, you feel that you have improved in your knowledge, skill and experience in certain area, you manage to give up certain bad habits, the sincere kindness you shown to people, you feel that you have grown in your spiritual maturity, you encourage someone who needed the most and etc.


More examples:

  • A clown looks like he has happiness because he always smile, laugh and make others smile and laugh. But he might not have joy from the inside. After he back home, he actually very depressed about this life.
  • Mr A is happy because he got a bonus and increment. But Mr A might not have joy if he is still complaining how little bonus he got compare to others. But he could also have the joy if he sees that he has grown in his knowledge, skill and experience he gained this year.
  • Miss A is happy because she receives an expensive gift. But Miss A might not be happy because that gift is just another gift in her collection. Miss B is happy and joyful when she receives a gift from her husband. Even though that gift is inexpensive for her, Miss B understands that her husband has chosen the exact design she likes which shown that her husband is observant to her and more touched when she realizes that he has saved up for some time to buy that gift.

Personally, I think this is the year which I give the least Christmas gifts. Partly this is because I am giving much priority towards things like job-searching. Then another incident which make me reflect more about Christmas is when someone in the online forum shared that his church disallow Christmas celebration because it is man-made. As I thought through, yeah, I think all these years I have been entangled by this man-made universal Christmas tradition – give and receive gifts. Yes, I should have think more and plan what to give to appreciate them especially my parents and my close friends in the church, but the positive side is I have a deeper reflection on the true meaning and true joy of Christmas this year besides knowing the fact that Jesus born as my Savior of course 🙂

So, in this Christmas, do you encounter/gain more happiness (i.e. receives much gifts) or more joy? Sometimes it is easily for us to get carried away by certain man-made traditions like Santa Clause, being too busy to shop and wrap gifts during Christmas. It is actually good to do so but when we do it with pressure and do just for the sake of it or out of guilt, then maybe it is time to reflect deeper the true meaning of Christmas and what “joy” is all about.


Bye 2014 and prepare to Welcome New 2015

Year 2014 is will coming to its end in 1 week plus. It is a good time to have some reflection time for year 2014 both the negative and positive.

What’s the negative? i.e., sad things happened, certain characters still unable to change, mistakes, blunder, failures. [ Self-talk response: Yes, I acknowledge it but I shall not dwell in it or too regret about it because I cannot undo it. Instead, I just need to learn from it, make a few decisions to change, starting from the major areas. ]

What’s the positive? i.e, special happy moments, new friendship, the love and encouragement you received, certain characters you overcome, growth (i.e. career, knowledge, spiritually), achievement. [ Self-talk response: Thank God for all these and to remember it ]

As year 2015 is approaching, it is also good to plan a little of what you wish to accomplish or become, just as Stephen  Covey puts it, ‘Begin with the End in Mind‘ 🙂




Personal Home Page version 2 (v2)


Since 2004, I have started my personal home page, Thinking back, I should have gotten but I was just a little late to buy that domain. Anyway, I am glad overall to still have this easy-to-remember and funny domain name as most I believe have watch Finding Nemo 🙂

I think one of the initial reasons why I want to have my own website is because I want to publish my resume online. Perhaps, I got too fed up to fill up the same boring information while applying for jobs or during interviews. So, I was thinking, if I have my resume nicely done and publish it online, I can just give my link like I admit it is pretty cool back then. But now, it looks like pretty boring design even though I have update ‘newer’ CSS template some years back. So, I guess it is time to have makeover of it. Well, I am not a graphic designer. So, don’t expect fancy design from me ya but I will do what I can 🙂

So here we are, newer fresh look of personal home page. Thanks to WordPress and those who contributed to create all the free WordPress template. Writing or blogging is one of my interests. Perhaps my brain just like to think unnecessarily which I can’t help much. So, writing helps me to sort out my brain and express them out does make me feel better. This means I could express better through text than verbal chat.

Back to the creation of, I use classic ASP to do it, all by own. Well, actually I did pinjam some stuff from the Internet la especially the CSS template. Other than that, I hand-coded all the html and ASP codes. After I ‘upgraded’ my skill, I also added some VB.NET pages into it for my feedback page and some other so-called cool stuff like google search and AJAX stuff. So, if you observe that old website, some pages are in .ASP and some are .ASPX pages and the template is same 🙂

Although I developed web applications, I have manual way to manage (add, edit, delete) the content in my old website. Perhaps, I started it the ‘manual’ way and too lazy to develop some kind of content management application. Initially, I feel contented about it. But after awhile, I realize that I am not as motivated to blog although there were times I have plenty of ideas what I want to share out. Sometimes, old and slow laptop also become a factor. But, recently I just bought a new ‘fast’ desktop. I think the last time I bought a desktop is hmm… ten years ago perhaps.

For the past few months I have been working on my wellness blog, During these period, I kinda get back some passion of writing and get a hang out using WordPress. And I do love its features and flexibility. It is so much easier to me to edit and maintain the website, even change its design. And there are tonnes of free design to me to use too. So here we go, a new version of my personal home page with WordPress. And I will still keep my old website as a museum for some who still wish to visit. For those who still drop by, I want to say thank you 🙂

Ops, I just realize I have some of other external blogs too. Gonna consolidate and merge them all here soon.


Thanksgiving – September 2014

Related to housing

  • Housing loan offer letter – Initally received offer letter from CIMB but the offer is only -1.7. I plan to sign that offer letter within 2-3 days. When meet up with lawyer to sign SPA, the ‘administrator’ in the law firm asked me why not take Maybank instead which gives better rate which is -2.35. She even show an offer letter to me which the property is same with my apartment. Thus, I applied to three other banks since I still have the time to do so. At the end, although I couldn’t get Maybank which I wonder why, I got offer from Public Bank which is -2.2. Although the tenure has to be reduced to years, I am still grateful because even -1.8 vs -2.2 is indeed big difference. Maybe around RM4k difference if settled after 5-6 years
  • EPF Account 2 application for housing – Approved and received the money within 4 days. Efficient.
  • Tenancy – Pretty stressed out looking for tenant to occcupy the vacant unit because still need to pay maintenance monthly. I also struggle to make decision whether to fully furnished because someone offer me RM900 for 10 items of furniture including fridge, washing machine, sofa set, queen size bed and etc because he is leaving to Philippines. The timing is extremely stressful and need almost perfect timing (tenant agreed fully furnished for that the date the furniture move in which is 11/10/2014). If I agreed to buy those furniture but tenant want unfurnished then I miss that tenant. If I decided not the buy the furniture but the tenant want fully furnished how? Many inquired and viewed but none really serious to pay deposit until 3 interns who wanted to rent for 3 months. I only verbally agree for rm900 monthly rental which including water and electricity and mattress for them. But they didn’t make payment for almost a week until another person confirm to rent the unit for RM1250 monthly rental for fully furnished. And the tenant is ok for the furniture to move in on 11/10/2014. For bonus, when I have a quick check on the tenant, I initially thought that I am renting to my company’s competitor. Mine is ePay while his is iPay. I even told my property negotiator not to tell him that I am from GHL 😀 But when I finally meet him, I realize that that company whom I rent to is my company’s partner. They have a office in Bandar Tasik Selatan and Puchong. Interesting also to know that the one who came to view my unit is actually a MD and CTO of a company in Penang. Cool 🙂


  • Fell into a fight a brother in Christ during a boardgame session. Grateful to have another brother in Christ over there to be the middle person to help both of us to resolve at least at that moment.
  • Teo injured and recovered suddenly – One Saturday suddenly my left foot toe injured. It is pretty severe until I gotta walk like a little limp. This continues until the following day and before my Sunday soccer, I saw a watson and check out what I can buy to help my toe. At the end, I bought the cream heat and applied some. Amazing when I reached the football, suddenly I could run like normal and thus can play and enjoy for football session. Amazing.
  • Extra income – Two person called to order products from me because of my website. One order 6 boxes of CEO Coffee while another one which is a MLM company from Penang ordered 24 boxes of CEO Coffee. Received payment from both already 🙂 She said if customer likes those coffee after one month, they will order more including Bee Pollen products too 🙂
  • Car problem – Engine warning light on for few days. At the end, gotta take emergency leave (EL) to settle it. Went to Perodua service center. After 2-3 hours, the staff there told me that the wires connected to my car engine spoilt. Replacement part is about RM350 but no stock. Called my father and he told me to look for him because he got some friend whom might be able to help. Went there and sure enough within 5 minutes that guy spotted the problem and the other guy fix it and only charged us RM10!!! After that, there is no more engine warning light 🙂