By Dec 2006, the only illegal software I have is my Window XP Professional installed in my pc. And, I have bought Window XP Home retail version in that month. It cost RM747. And In January 2007, I have formated my c and reinstall it with this Window XP Home. So, from now, I can clear in my software illegal issue already.
I love group talk. More specifically a good group talk. My definition of good group talk is when one talks, others listen. But, not those being quiet and stare at the speaker but active listener, the one who shows interest, by giving short feedback. I hate it when there is one or two who dominate the group talk. I love it when everyone has a chance to talk or everyone is giving chance to each other to talk or to be the speaker. I love when we laugh together in a group relating to same jokes or some funny thing or humor. Indeed, this good group talk atmosphere is rare. But if I have it, I feel great and happy.
Why I said rare is because, not talk about a group, even good talk between 2 individuals, also not easy to find. Why? This is because this involve both see they need of being a good listener to each other. Being a good or active listener, involve asking question, see the problem of block to listening, paraphrase, minimal encourages and etc.
Not that I’m a good listener. At times, I am also fed up to be a good listener especially being with people who aren’t. But, in order to have a good talk, be it two person or a group, this principle of being a good listener still have to applied. Otherwise, no one will ever listen. It is just much noise.
21 Oct 2006, I went to Kuantan for mission trip. Those going are 17 Christians from KL church including me, 1 from KK and 1 from JB. After breakfast, we departed. I sat in Aaron’s car. Behind were my mom and Serene. There were 4 cars. When we reached about end of MRR2, we caught into a traffic jam. Something we are not too happy about. This traffic jam must be due to holiday sessons where everyone wants to go back to their hometown. After the Genting toll, our car has separated from the other 3 cars. Later, we realize that the three cars has stopped in one rest stop which we have already passed by. So, we splited since then. After some hours of drive, we reached Kuantan at the end, which is about 1pm. Aaron bought us to eat at the best gon lo me in Kuantan. We ate and it was good. I like the duck.
Then, we went to Grand Continental Hotel, Kok Meng, Siew Ting and Chu Kee welcomed us. Then, the rest (from the 3 cars) came but they have not eaten their lunch. So, they went for their lunch. After they came back from their lunch, we went to Kuantan Parade for evangelism, while the Singaporian took Mega Mall.
Reached to Kuantan Parade, we splited into small group of 2-3 for evangelism. Daniel and I together. There were a lot of Malays! Perhaps 90-95%. Amazing. Something never seen in KL. So, every Chinese became very precious to us. Because not many Chinese, Daniel and I has decided to talk to the people who work in the shop or owner of the shop. But, when there is not people there. At the end of 1 hour evangelism, we didn’t meet many Chinese and only 1 contact.
Then, we went back to Grand Continential Hotel to meet up to share good news. One good news is about Anna, a friend who has been studying the bible, invited her 6 friends to her house for bible talk. She asked Nancy to preach to her friends but in Chinese. Nancy in turn got Chu Kee to preach instead because there might man there and also of her incompentency to preach in Chinese. Chu Kee preached. That is awesome. Another good news is from David Lang’s wife, which is also quite a similiar story.
After dinner, those were involve in the service were meeting up in Grand Continential Hotel for service rehearsal. The song leader rehearse the songs. Also make sure other technical area is okay like the laptop for the song lyric and the projector which is in charge by a Singapore brother, Fred.
Recently I re-watch a movie called Upsidedown. Haven’t finish watching yet, just around half-way. I would to write down which scene I like the most.
- I like the scene when Paul contronted Peter about his hypocrisy about the Jews. How Peter replied back to Paul is so awesome and humble. Looking at Paul, with a hand on Paul’s shoulder, he said, “You’re right.” And when Peter’s wife said, “But, you don’t have to do it among so many people.” Peter look at her as if he is saying, “No, it’s ok.” What a beautiful scene by Peter.
- Another one is when the old lady saying the story to the children. The children said Paul is better because Paul preach to the world while Peter just stay in Jeruselam. The reason Peter want to stay in Jeruselam because that place is very special to him, a place for him to remember Jesus, something like that. Gota watch back. These scene moved me to tears. Thank God for that because has been so long, I never been moved to tears like this. I think the last time is when I watch the movie Passion of Christ somewhere last year.
Before you go on, I would like to let you know that this is about me. It has taken me quite a while to write this here, to be open for public. But then, I think majority to get to know this website won’t be someone a stranger but rather someone whom I know. If you found this by accident, you can ignore this page because it will be a little odd for you just jump deep about me here. 🙂
My definition of Friendship
Recently, I summarized a little of this word as I have enough of complication. For me now, how I see friendship is
- when both parties contribute to each other.
How both person can assure of each other friendship is when both contributed. This contribution doesn’t mean that that person can or has helped the other person. Contribution can be in the form of being there for that person. Read Job 2: 11: 13. Can Job’s friends solve his problems nor has solved? No. But the bible put that header “Job’s Three Friends”. Another keywords to replace contribute can be help, gives.
- want to be a friend to each other.
It is just as simple as you say to him/her “I want to be your friend or your buddy.” People actually know that you want to be their friend. It is amazing. You don’t have to say this mushi mushi phase, “You are my friend.” “You’re my buddy.”, “You’re my best friend”. People can feel it. Amazing.
Taking about contribution, people actually can remember it very well. Even one kind and sincere act from someone to your personally, you remember it. Example, the person who invited you to church, the one who visited/call/encourage you when you are down spiritually, the one who help you in your wedding, someone who rebuke you when you needed it. Amazingly after very long time, even that same person no longer contributes, you still acknowledge that person as your friend.
My part and Surrenderness
So now, this is how I build friendship, by contributing to that person’s life. If that person also want to contribute to myself. This friendship has established. But, friendship will die off. It won’t die immediately but it die progressively when both didn’t or decided not to contribute to each other at any reasons or excuse.
Distance can’t stop a friendship (both to contribute). Even you can’t physically present to that person, you can still think of that person and that is a form of contribution. Just try to imagine, when your good old friend say to you from a far distance. “You know what, I thought of you. I miss the olden days when we .. ” Though you can’t able to meet regularly like last time, but the friendship still can possibly remain.
Surrenderness is needed in building a friendship. Why? This is because of the friendship principles/definition (need both party to contribute). And you can only do your part (contribute). You can’t make the other person contribute back to you.
When a person appreciate your contribution, this doesn’t mean that person has contributed. Only when that person intensionally want to contribute back, then it becomes a true contribution. And that is not the last time of contribution to each other but a regular basis.
I need friends or friendship. Indeed I believe every human being needs it. For those who doesn’t feel you need it, I want to let you know that we need it. I once read, a baby who was fed but without relationship or love for 6 months, dies after that.
I need a friend whom I can pour out my heart. As a born deep person, thoughts can easily branch out multiply and went to deep of these many many branches. Problems or ill feelings keep or supress inside my heart are like toxic. It kills. But, who can I turn to? Who can I turn to release all these thoughts and feelings of my heart in this fast-paced life? Why don’t you just pour them ask you might ask? Actually, I did. But, people don’t seem to care. If they do, they would have follow-up at least some of my problems. Will you actually pour out your heart to those who don’t seem to care?
Another problem is good listener is very rare now a days. Since last year I think, I begin to pick up more in this area. I realize that it is important to be a good listener. I learn much from books esp a book called “Messages”, under my recommendation section. It is more frustrating when you pour out to someone who are not a good listener. They care but their listening skills are poor. So, I think I still appreciate them for they care.
Just by you taking your precious time to read this stuff, you have already contributed to my life. And I want appreciate you for that. Funny how, I can forget many things due to too many things but I always remember those who loves me, contributed to my life, that has helped me. I always thank God for David Guzik’s sermon and commentary, those who dropped by to me with little “Hi”, or just to catch up, those who greets me. Why? You might see this small thing, just a “Hi” or a greet. But for me, it makes me feel warm and I appreciate more when I see how busy all of us are especially in my church, with so many responsiblity and meetings and people. So, this little “Hi”, little smile, little humor/joke, little greet has an encouragement to me.
Take about humor. I love it. I try to imagine how my life will be if I never laugh, to have someone to laugh with. I think I will die in depression. Some need this less or don’t need it at all. Different people has different need. For me, one of my needs to humor, fun, laughter. I’m grateful to have people whom I can click in humor, fun and laughter. I miss it, those crazy humor, those good dry humor, those comedy acting, those big 2, those reversi. Hehe..
Hmm.. dawn on me, what about spiritual needs? I think I have quite enough of spiritual food, many Christian books. I can easily get more Christian book shop. I can get them also from website. I believe there are more than enough. But, what I need to people whom I can share things which convicts me, my spiritual perspective, to confess my sins. Again, come back to above, need that friend to grow together and fight together spiritually.
What if we don’t have friends yet? Can we still ‘survive’?
I thought of Samuel. During Samuel’s time, he doesn’t seem to have much friends. His so called peers, Eli’s sons, are bad. The nations was in low spiritual state. Yet, he still remain a good faithful servant to God until old age. I believe there are some lone spirtual hero in the bible besides Samuel. I think David also. What about John the Baptist? For them, God is their friend, someone to pour out. But, in anther perspective, they are special. God personally speak to Samuel. John was filled with Holy Spirit from birth.
Healthy Friendship is within a healthy boundary
Friendship also can be unhealthy. For me, I see unhealthy friendship when the friendship has not been staying within a good healthy boundary. I don’t know how to define it though. You can research it more in google. But, it is something like when the friendship has gotten too close. Meet too often. Get too attached. Even a good friends or a dating relationship shouldn’t get too attached and that it is healthy for both.
A good healthy friendship is quite rare now a days but this is not impossible. It takes both to understand the meaning of friendship. It takes both to have the knowledge of boundary. It also takes self-control and some maturity. This unhealthy friendship normally happen to the people to always meet together, be it people you stay together with, your family member, your community small group, your colleague.