Author: Steve Ngai

Categories
Singing

Singing Journey

Recently, my passion toward has increase a lot. This makes me recall back, how this hobby got started. Just a little journal of my singing journey.

I don’t know when I start to like singing but I think it is the secondary school time. I think my desire to sing is affected by my desire to the songs I listen. I like to listen to songs, be it Chinese, Malay or English. Chinese and English more.

But, I never learn how to sing correctly, with the right technique. Like others, I just listen and imitate. Imitate those days related to today that I have learnt, the word is pitch matching. Imitate those days not only include pitch matching but their style, how rough is the voice and so on.

Funny moment is a time when we have science singing competition. I pair up with Soon Tee. We came out the lyric and use Beatles’ melody and a ‘chang’ and suprisingly we got first. But, only 3 participant including us. Of course, we must sang terribly compare to my standard now.

My desire to sing is so much to sing like them until I make so much effort just to sing one chinese song. Because I don’t know Mandarin, in order to sing, I need to rewind the tape, play it and write the ‘han yin pin yin’ and then stop and do it over and over again. And I did this for some songs. I still keep those lyrics.

That time also I have the better immune to the lyric. I don’t really get bothered by the lyric. When I listen to songs, I just like the music and the singer’s voice I think. But now, I got so easily affected by it. Maybe the side effect to learn that I need to mean the lyric when sing spiritual song.

Another memory I have is during college time. They want to get a representative from every intake to perform during yearly prompt night, something like that. That time I got really exited and I love KRU songs that time. Feeling some confidence, I decided to go for it (bad decision). But, I feel afraid. So, I asked another Malay friend to tag along. On the actual day, he back off and leave me go for it alone. And, I will go for it (another bad move). Because I feel so familiar with the song, I go for it without bring/looking the lyric. And guess what? I have forgotten the lyric. I just can’t believe that will happen. And I really bomb it big and I bomber thing is I see myself that I really bomb it big but just bomb.

I continue to like singing but never really learn the technique, just the same, imitation until I have become a disciple. That time, most of the campus brothers also like singing and our hang out is singing. Kenny Cheah and Roger play guitar and the rest sang. That time got Chee How, Mike, Jack. Many a time, we sang during date because of that. We got time to practice because that time, most of us are free. Mike and Roger is not a song leader yet and of course all of us still singles, not yet get steady not married. The sisters even expect it on the date.

My encounter with Mike

My singing really start to improve with my encounter with Mike. I don’t know he is a great in singing until he sang a song. He also encourage me in singing during discipling partner time. I can’t remember all the things that time like what he taught me but I think one of them is listening. Actually, he is good in singing but not really good in teaching or guiding even until now.

Falsento
I sang much falsento because of Bee Gees I think and doesn’t realize my falsento has gotten better and better and I don’t know why and how I do it well in this. During karaoke time, many seems impressed by it.

Choir

I was in the choir for around a year and then I’m out from it. That time, Zee Que is leading the song ministry and Weng Hong just stepped down. Because there isn’t enough time and expertise to help the choir, Zee Que decided to combine choir with song leader but not all will be in. He conducted an audition and I failed to go in. It is a very humbling moment in my life because I really don’t expect myself to fail. That time, I am the choir leader even. So, the humbling gets more hurt and even some I see them lesser vocal skills manage to went in.

I’m back

Then after some months, I thought of coming back. I give myself 6 months of training and I told Roger my desire. Later, Mike approached me and told me to come to join their Saturday song leader practice. I felt exited and honor, to have this honor to practice with song leader. But, he said I’m not a song leader for at least 6 month. That time I think is Jun 2005.

Books
Then I began to buy book. I bought a book called Teach Yourself To Sing. Don’t know when. Another one is Singing for Dummies. I bought this one on August 2005. This book really has help me much, teach me the technique and give me the understanding.

Diaphram
Since long time ago, I have been hearing this but just couldn’t do it. At one time, during carolling, I feel a little of it when I drag a note at the end of the song with my maximum volume. But, just occasionally or accidently or maybe just for that song. I did tried many times and at times the more I tried the more struggle I feel. I tried it wrongly. I got headache. I even can’t sing a normal song comfortably like when I was younger and I wonder why.

Sudden passion in singing

Recently, I begin to crave for Josh Groban’s songs so much until I can’t tahan to wait to borrow from Mike and bought it just now in Sungei Wang for RM42. I don’t why I just love his style, voice and songs so much. Think back, it has to do with some day when our church put a Musical Theather called “Upsidedown”. From that time, I begin to have the passion to be like them, to sing like them, with a rough voice. It is jus so nice. I begin to love it and appreciate it. But, I think once of the reason why I didn’t do much thing about it is because of my singing skill, more accurately me breathing is not there. I’m still not using my diaphram to control my breathing.

Another occassion spur me towards powerful singing again is the time I went to Singapore some months ago for Leader’s Conference. One the last day of the conference, during Sunday service, a sister whom later I know from Korea sing a powerful jazz style of Glory Glory Hallelujah. Wow, she really inspires me and I begin to imitate her in the way secretly because it’s embarassing to practice with people due to my incompetency. One time, I sang it in my house. I close all the room door and find that little ‘room’ sounds good due to all doors are close, so can hear the echo, my own voice. Later, from time to time, I try to sing rough or ‘opera’ style and realize that “Hey, sounds not bad.” But, my breathing is not there yet. So, my singing is not consistent due to that lacking. When I am not breathing correctly, using the diaphram, I have so much stress in my neck and shoulder and also I have problem to hit the note in my head. The note is too high for me.

But, don’t know since when, my breathing has gotten improved. I guess maybe from time to time, I focus in how my airflows is. I checked myself. “If I can hit the note in my head easil, if I don’t feel the stress in my neck and shoulder. If I don’t have headache when hit high notes, if I can easily hit any note, if I can free in my throat, if I feel pain in my diaphram, then very likely I’m using it. Then, I practice more and more.

Then, another inspiration is after watching Puteri Gunung Ledang. Then, I practice more and more recently and begin to see some improvement I think. When my breathing gotten better and better and more natural (At times I didn’t think too much about it). With that better breathing with diaphram, I feel so enjoy with my singing. I can be more easily project my voice, accending and discending. I can hit note in my head easily. I can also control it to like to ‘josh/musical theather’ style. The key is really breathing with diaphram. It is so important.

Categories
Articles

Center

I love these sentences by Thomas A. Jones in the Introduction in the book Teach Us To Pray.

“If we rely on nothing but human power, the life Jesus calls us to is impossible. On his own, not even the most stable, most healthy, most intelligent and most determined person can do it. Only as we intimately connected with God through prayer will we continually find the forgiveness, strength, inspiration and direction needed to live the life Jesus described and expected of his followers.”

I also like when he used the below pie charts about prayer.

center

He says “Prayer is not the only thing needed by disciples. It is just the most important thing.” Take notice the word Worship in these two pie charts above. Now, let’s go to another book, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

In his last chapter, Living with Purpose, he says, “What will be the center of my life? This is the question of worship”

So, which one is the center, Prayer or Worship? This makes me think about the greatest commandment, Love God. And it means relationship with God. And Worship, Prayer, Study (I assume bible study) are in the same category, relationship with God. Another word, God is the center. That is my conclusion who/what should be the center.

Categories
Career

Blessing working in GuocoLand. [Focus on the blessing]

  • 5 days work. Rare in KL.
  • No need to stay back.
  • No strict deadline. Imagine working in a software house.
  • Good pay,
  • ‘Protected’, coz I have my own room and the door is close. For others, only manager level only got room and their room always open. Our is the unique one and also my position. Outside, there is so much distraction, women talk, gossip, all kinds, which easily bothers me and I’m very sensitive to voice.
  • Can do my web programming in ASP and Mysql. Odd combination.
  • Got Hong Leong CF. It is great going there. Can learn from other Christians from other church.
Categories
Career

Things I learnt in GuocoLand

  • Active Directory. I have no clue what it it until I work here. Know that it is related to networking. User profile. Their level of access.
  • Backup. In the past, backup that I did daily is my own code and production system’s data. But, here is really backup. Got backup tape. And need to put them into safe and offsite. Know more of backup software, Veritas Backup Exec and NTBackup.
  • Proxy. Know that it is like a door to Internet. Gotta key in the proxy server and the port to access to Internet.
  • Network. See bigger network. Got riser. How it connect to each other.
  • Red tape. Bigger company got red tape. In order to buy a pc, need long process. Get at least 2 quotation of same spec. Then prepare PO. Then fax PO. Then wait for them to process and deliver it. When deliver got DO and INVOICE. Then pass them to account for payment. Then gotta scan everything for filling and a copy of PO, DO, INV, Quotation to PO filling and if purchase pc which got software, need another copy for License filling.
  • ASP. Using Cdo to send email.
  • Outlook.
  • Event management and leadership. Sport and Social club.
  • Talk to the right person. Ie, if this is related to admin, talk to admin and so on.
  • Learn how to protect yourself. By asking them to send email if they want to access certain folder so that in the future no dispute.
  • Troubleshooting. Key Principle is narrow down.
Categories
Uncategorized

For My Friends

Before you go on, I would like to let you know that this is about me. It has taken me quite a while to write this here, to be open for public. But then, I think majority to get to know this website won’t be someone a stranger but rather someone whom I know. If you found this by accident, you can ignore this page because it will be a little odd for you just jump deep about me here. 🙂

My definition of Friendship
Recently, I summarized a little of this word as I have enough of complication. For me now, how I see friendship is

  • when both parties contribute to each other.
    How both person can assure of each other friendship is when both contributed. This contribution doesn’t mean that that person can or has helped the other person. Contribution can be in the form of being there for that person. Read Job 2: 11: 13. Can Job’s friends solve his problems nor has solved? No. But the bible put that header “Job’s Three Friends”. Another keywords to replace contribute can be help, gives.
  • want to be a friend to each other.
    It is just as simple as you say to him/her “I want to be your friend or your buddy.” People actually know that you want to be their friend. It is amazing. You don’t have to say this mushi mushi phase, “You are my friend.” “You’re my buddy.”, “You’re my best friend”. People can feel it. Amazing.

Taking about contribution, people actually can remember it very well. Even one kind and sincere act from someone to your personally, you remember it. Example, the person who invited you to church, the one who visited/call/encourage you when you are down spiritually, the one who help you in your wedding, someone who rebuke you when you needed it. Amazingly after very long time, even that same person no longer contributes, you still acknowledge that person as your friend.

My part and Surrenderness
So now, this is how I build friendship, by contributing to that person’s life. If that person also want to contribute to myself. This friendship has established. But, friendship will die off. It won’t die immediately but it die progressively when both didn’t or decided not to contribute to each other at any reasons or excuse.

Distance can’t stop a friendship (both to contribute). Even you can’t physically present to that person, you can still think of that person and that is a form of contribution. Just try to imagine, when your good old friend say to you from a far distance. “You know what, I thought of you. I miss the olden days when we .. ” Though you can’t able to meet regularly like last time, but the friendship still can possibly remain.

Surrenderness is needed in building a friendship. Why? This is because of the friendship principles/definition (need both party to contribute). And you can only do your part (contribute). You can’t make the other person contribute back to you.

When a person appreciate your contribution, this doesn’t mean that person has contributed. Only when that person intensionally want to contribute back, then it becomes a true contribution. And that is not the last time of contribution to each other but a regular basis.

My needs
I need friends or friendship. Indeed I believe every human being needs it. For those who doesn’t feel you need it, I want to let you know that we need it. I once read, a baby who was fed but without relationship or love for 6 months, dies after that.

I need a friend whom I can pour out my heart. As a born deep person, thoughts can easily branch out multiply and went to deep of these many many branches. Problems or ill feelings keep or supress inside my heart are like toxic. It kills. But, who can I turn to? Who can I turn to release all these thoughts and feelings of my heart in this fast-paced life? Why don’t you just pour them ask you might ask? Actually, I did. But, people don’t seem to care. If they do, they would have follow-up at least some of my problems. Will you actually pour out your heart to those who don’t seem to care?

Another problem is good listener is very rare now a days. Since last year I think, I begin to pick up more in this area. I realize that it is important to be a good listener. I learn much from books esp a book called “Messages”, under my recommendation section. It is more frustrating when you pour out to someone who are not a good listener. They care but their listening skills are poor. So, I think I still appreciate them for they care.

Just by you taking your precious time to read this stuff, you have already contributed to my life. And I want appreciate you for that. Funny how, I can forget many things due to too many things but I always remember those who loves me, contributed to my life, that has helped me. I always thank God for David Guzik’s sermon and commentary, those who dropped by to me with little “Hi”, or just to catch up, those who greets me. Why? You might see this small thing, just a “Hi” or a greet. But for me, it makes me feel warm and I appreciate more when I see how busy all of us are especially in my church, with so many responsiblity and meetings and people. So, this little “Hi”, little smile, little humor/joke, little greet has an encouragement to me.

Take about humor. I love it. I try to imagine how my life will be if I never laugh, to have someone to laugh with. I think I will die in depression. Some need this less or don’t need it at all. Different people has different need. For me, one of my needs to humor, fun, laughter. I’m grateful to have people whom I can click in humor, fun and laughter. I miss it, those crazy humor, those good dry humor, those comedy acting, those big 2, those reversi. Hehe..

Hmm.. dawn on me, what about spiritual needs? I think I have quite enough of spiritual food, many Christian books. I can easily get more Christian book shop. I can get them also from website. I believe there are more than enough. But, what I need to people whom I can share things which convicts me, my spiritual perspective, to confess my sins. Again, come back to above, need that friend to grow together and fight together spiritually.

What if we don’t have friends yet? Can we still ‘survive’?
I thought of Samuel. During Samuel’s time, he doesn’t seem to have much friends. His so called peers, Eli’s sons, are bad. The nations was in low spiritual state. Yet, he still remain a good faithful servant to God until old age. I believe there are some lone spirtual hero in the bible besides Samuel. I think David also. What about John the Baptist? For them, God is their friend, someone to pour out. But, in anther perspective, they are special. God personally speak to Samuel. John was filled with Holy Spirit from birth.

Healthy Friendship is within a healthy boundary
Friendship also can be unhealthy. For me, I see unhealthy friendship when the friendship has not been staying within a good healthy boundary. I don’t know how to define it though. You can research it more in google. But, it is something like when the friendship has gotten too close. Meet too often. Get too attached. Even a good friends or a dating relationship shouldn’t get too attached and that it is healthy for both.

A good healthy friendship is quite rare now a days but this is not impossible. It takes both to understand the meaning of friendship. It takes both to have the knowledge of boundary. It also takes self-control and some maturity. This unhealthy friendship normally happen to the people to always meet together, be it people you stay together with, your family member, your community small group, your colleague.