I feel discouraged few days ago of my singing. I haven’t been practicing much singing, nor vocal lately, for about 2-3 weeks time. But, because I asked someone to sing a song for me, I plan to sing back a song for her, my favorite Josh Gorban. At the end, I feel that I did so lousy. Someone indirectly let me know. The one I sang to also the same.
I went back and record myself and it is really one kind. The breathing is one kind. Even though, I managed to grasp more about using diaphram but I am so lacking to practice it and to really sing a lot and to make it really consistent. I can use diaphram to project my voice but just intentionally and I have trouble to control to sing it softer and when I need to look at the song book to sing due to not remembering lyric, I bomb myself in singing.
The next day, got a new group to sing parts. And coming soon, I will singing on the stage in front of many. I need to have intensive practice and I feel discouraged. During my journey to home today after work, I thought about my singing. One of the thing I thought about it is to have a place to practice and some tool or way that I can hear myself. Something like a studio way, so that when I can hear myself, I can hear the real sound how other’s hear. So, I can improve from there. I thought of going to studio. I hope to have a place, where there is a mic for me and a speaker (monitor) for me to hear myself.
Then, as usual, I reached home, have my dinner. And my parent is going out and I thought about singing. After they left, I began to sing. Don’t feel good about it as I sang sat down. So, tried to find some area perhaps, can hear back myself. Then I went to the empty area, the area which I need to pass by if I want to go to my parent’s room. Then, I thought of singing there. I feel a little good when I can hear myself. Then, I closed all the 3 doors and also the living room one, so won’t disturb others.
As I sang more and more, I feel good about myself. I gain back my confidence. I sang my favorite song. Though some parts are out, some I feel good about it. I breath and sing comfortably. I can hit high notes more comfortably. For the song I am more familiar with, I can control my singing more like if I can louder, I can, if I want rough type, I can and so on. I can’t believe I can sing like this. So long time didn’t feel this.
I want to thank God for giving me this ‘studio’ to answer my prayer. I also prayed not to be motivated my pride, not good motivation. Beside that, I also need to tell myself to have self-control as once I got it, I will really into. Hope able to differenciate self-control and focus.
Back to singing, I think I need to get a mp3 to record myself by putting it inside this studio and think of the best thing to cover that open area. I also need to pray that the home is available for practice too because if my parents are here, I will be insecure to sing all out. Just now, I really sing all out and I feel that that should be the way. All out even though out of tune it’s ok. Just gotta practice more.
I can also practice by singing a lot of my favorite song because I’m more familar with it. Another thing is consistency of my breathing. Just these 2 things first I guess.
“Keep the focus of practice since it is not easy to get it, to get back your confidence. Use all you have, all what God has given you. How will He feel is He gave you much but you timid to use them all. Yet, as you use them all, you can still keep your humility (to think it is from God and for Him) and that can be done with much focus in Him. Also remember is self-control.
Also be discipline for and during practice. Be serious. There are times to be serious, though not all the time but need some seriousness just like people practices for any sports. Focus in breathing. not really focusing but evaluate from time to time by breathing comfortably and not short of breath and consistent volume.”